Relationships can be a very fragile aspect in any individual's life because, unlike the family in a lover's relationship, there is a lot of complicated feelings involved while being in love with the other person, which can often blur the lines between right and wrong.
The blurring of lines among two people in a relationship is what makes it a toxic one. Toxic relationships will cause monumental breakage to people, families, and workplaces, but they aren't necessarily the territory of the weak, downtrodden, or insecure.
How to get out of a toxic relationship? Source: medical news today
Strong, healthy, independent people can find themselves in the white-knuckled grip of a toxic relationship. Similarly, relationships that seem to begin strong because 'omg you guys, I am so in love with him,' can dissolve into nothing but ash.
What exactly is a toxic relationship?
There are a lot of red flags in relationships that are toxic, which people might not realize. No relationship is perfect in the personal or the business sphere. But for the most part, a good relationship makes one feel secure, happy, respected, free to be yourself, and cared for.
On the other side of the coin are toxic relationships, the ones that make you feel drained, depleted, and sometimes even distraught. Here are some of the signs which indicate you might be in a toxic relationship
If your partner puts restrictions or conditions for you to do things, then your relationship is toxic. One should be able to feel free in a relationship and not have to worry about what he/she might say or react to your actions. Let's be honest here. We all rebel against the restrictions our parents place on us so, being scared of your partner's imposed limitations is a no-no.
2. Little to no effort
Relationship is always supposed to be a two-way thing. If you're the only one putting a lot of effort into making your partner happy and not getting anything in return, then the relationship can be toxic.
Getting in return does not mean receiving materialistic things, but small gestures like helping you out, being there for you, getting your favorite food, and just doing little things for one another is essential to keep the dice rolling.
One of the most crucial factors in a relationship is having respect for one another; having each other's back at all times is very crucial. Even while having personal disparities, respecting one another is important to keep the relationship afloat. A couple should never make each other feel uncomfortable or humiliated in front of other people.
4. Lack of communication
Arguments are inevitable in any relationship but not communicating about the differences to one another is a toxic trait. As we mention above that a relationship is a two way process so both the partners should be mature enough to come to a consensus about their arguments. Finding a common ground is essential.
If your partner manipulates you to do something you don't want to, then that is a red flag. In a relationship your partner should embrace your quirks, personality and encourage you to become a better person. Subtly manipulating the other person to fit into their agenda of what is right is toxic.
6. Physical/verbal abuse
Any physical or verbal abuse is a big NO in any relationship. Regardless of how much you love him/her, abusive relationships might be unfixable. Being abusive is not justifiable; it is the most significant form of disrespect to the other person.
7. Trust issues
Trust is an essential foundation in a relationship. A certain level of jealousy is healthy, but if your partner has zero trust for you, then it's time to walk out. Having a lack of confidence in a relationship can hinder your relationship with other important people in your life.
Being in a toxic relationship, one might feel trapped. The constant feeling of sadness, anxiety in a relationship is a sign that you should move on from that person as you will be held back from a lot of possibilities in life. No one ever sets out to be in an unhealthy relationship. We all strive for a version of happily ever after.
"A toxic relationship is one that adversely impacts a person's health and wellbeing," says Kelly Campbell, PhD, associate professor of psychology and human development at California State University, San Bernardino. "Because we spend so much of our time and energy on a romantic partner, these relationships are especially influential on our wellbeing. When they are going well, we are usually doing well. But when they are not going well, our health and happiness will likely be negatively affected."
So what next? How do I get out of this toxic relationship? Is what you're asking yourself, then here are some relevant steps as to how you can save yourself from one.
1. Surround yourself with people who make you happy
We often tend to take people who are close to us like friends and family for granted after finding that one person, so if you find yourself in a toxic relationship, you should talk to them to know your worth and understand the red flags. It is essential to heal yourself.
2. Cut off from him/her
If you find all of the red flags in your relationship, it's time to cut off from the person. The more you try to fix things, the deeper you will fall, cutting off the person from everything will give you the clarity and will to move on to a better chapter.
3. Pick up a hobby or activity
Doing things that are different from the mundane, repetitive things make you understand yourself better. A simple hobby like dancing or painting or doing activities with your friends can help you refresh from all the disturbing things that you have been through.
Make the same efforts to love yourself like you did to love your partner. Self-love is the most important thing while getting out of a toxic relationship, don't second guess yourself about leaving him/her and putting yourself first. Self-love is a way to let go of the past and heal yourself.
5. Allow yourself to rest
The energy it takes to endure withdrawal from a toxic relationship is a lot for a human mind to process. When you are so used to that one person but let down by them, it takes a lot of mental energy to get back to your older self. Take time off to understand what you have been through, know your worth, and allow yourself to rest from all the chaos in life to heal.
Relationships can be tough to handle, but if it is a toxic one, it becomes a matter of your mental and physical wellbeing. If you don't feel appreciated, loved, and valued by your partner, then it is better to realize it; if the damage is fixable, then one should communicate to their partner and try to clear out the differences.
However, if a relationship has all the red flags mentioned above, then it is better to realize and move on. It might be difficult to accept the reality, but saving yourself and your dignity is equally essential for build yourself into a better person.